Why I quit my job and booked a one-way flight to Thailand. Spoiler: a fear of death and a broken body
June 5, 2019
I’m now 3 days into unemployment, and 3 days away from the start of my adventure to South-East Asia. & I can’t bloody wait.
When I met JJ last year, he was just leaving his job, ready to go away to Thailand like he’s always wanted to. Then we met, and after a few dates, he obviously realised I’m the absolute best human being to ever walk the planet, so he stayed with me here in England.
Due to my EDS, I spend a lot of my life exhausted, in pain, and generally quite angry that my body won’t allow me to do everything my head wants me to do. So I’d sort of resigned myself to the belief that I couldn’t go travelling. Funnily enough, now I think it’s actually my disability which has given me that push to just bloody do it. I’m 25 (nearly 26) and every year I can feel my EDS affecting me more & more. I’ve struggled a lot over the past year, and I just feel like there’s no point waiting around. It’s not like I’m gonna get any better, my body’s only getting weaker, so the best time to do it is right now. My health problems have actually helped me in a way. It means I can’t put it off. I want to do as much as I can while I’m still able. And I’m lucky enough to be able to do that. Not everyone has the physical or financial capability to do so, so I’m really grateful that I can.
JJ understands my capabilities, and doesn’t expect me to be able to hike up a mountain. We’re staying in each place long enough to be able to have rest days, so we won’t be rushing around trying to cram everything in. The weather will be hot and my clothes don’t have much to them, so my bag won’t be too heavy. I’m taking a backpack with all my stuff in, but I’ll then leave it at our accommodation during days out, and just take what I need with me daily. We’ve also got special assistance booked for our flights, which always helps! I’ll probably end up doing a more in-depth post regarding travelling with my disability, because I know that’s something I would have loved to have read about myself, back when I thought I’d never be able to do this.
Recently I’ve been thinking about my mortality a lot, and I’m not sure why that is. I think it may have started around when my granny died last year. I find myself getting really upset over the fact that life is finite, and get really freaked out by the fact that I won’t exist forever. I don’t believe in any kind of afterlife, or that we’re here for any purpose. To me, we’re just organisms, floating about. Tiny specks of dust in this insanely huge universe. I’m still working on trying to get my head around all of that, and do still find myself getting distressed when I try to accept the fact I won’t exist one day. But for now, what I want to do instead of just being completely freaked out by it, is to use it as a positive way to approach life. I know I only have a set amount of time to get shit done, so why wait around? The time I do have on this planet, I want to spend doing exactly what I want to do. I want to live life to the max, and make my happiness my main focus.
Different people want to spend their time on this planet doing different things. I feel like the societal norm has always been to get a 9-5 job, work work work so you can pay bills and spend 5 days a week looking forward to the weekend, have kids, get a house, and spend the rest of your life paying the mortgage off for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that – everyone’s different & that’s great! But it’s not how I wanna spend my life. I don’t want kids – never have, never will. I’m not the sort of person to want to stay doing the same thing for years. My attention span is too short for that. I just wanna live my own life and see the world. It’s a HUGE place, full of so many different things to see – different cultures, foods, places to go, people to meet. Why would I wanna stay in one place? Nope, no thank you. I want to spend as much of my life as I can seeing as much of the world as I can. So that’s the plan!
Me & JJ had discussed doing this, but nothing was set in stone. Then in around January of this year, we properly made the decision that we were gonna do it. We said we’d go at the end of the year, when my contract was due to end at work, and suddenly I realised I really needed to start saving. I set up a standing order and put a set amount in a savings account each month, calculating that by the time I’d saved properly, I’d have enough money saved to be able to go on our adventure without even having to think about money. However, in April, we decided we were gonna go sooner. We were both fed up of our 9-5 lives and wanted to do something exciting, and JJ had a decision to make at the end of May – renew the contract for his flat for another 6 months, or give up the flat completely. It seemed obvious. He’d give up his flat at the end of May, and we’d leave the country not long after. Yeah, I wouldn’t have as much money saved, but life’s for living, and we both just wanna get out there and do all the exciting things we can.
A few weeks later, we booked our one-way flight to Thailand, along with our AirBnb. It was actually happening! A couple of weeks passed and we’d both handed in our notices at work. Shit was getting REAL. & it’s just gone so quickly since then! We’ve since booked our flight from Thailand to Vietnam, and our flight from Vietnam to the Philippines. We’re also planning to go to Bali, and I’m not sure where else yet. But we’ll see!
I’m so excited for our adventure together! But I’m not gonna get anywhere if I don’t get a move on and actually pack, so I’m gonna end this post here and do exactly that.
I’ll be posting plenty on Instagram while I’m away, so you can follow my journey there!